February 2026
I Once Was Lost, But Now Am Found
I grew up with what I would call an ordinary childhood. Sundays were spent going to church with my mum and my sister. It was simply part of life — routine, familiar, safe. I knew about God, but I didn’t yet know Him personally. Everything changed when I was 11 years old.
My dad and my uncle were both killed in a car crash, and from that moment, life was never the same. That tragedy drew my mum closer to Jesus, but for me it marked the beginning of rebellion. I couldn’t process the pain, grief and confusion. Instead of running to God, I ran away from Him.
By the time I reached secondary school, I was already experimenting with drugs, drinking, partying, and living recklessly. I was trying to numb something I didn’t yet understand.
Fast forward to 2004, and I was in a very dark place. One day, overwhelmed and broken, I collapsed to the floor sobbing bitterly — desperate, empty, and undone. I didn’t fully understand it at the time, but it was Jesus I was crying out to. Not long after, Jesus’ presence supernaturally encountered me and heaven entered the room. I was instantly delivered from demonic oppression. At that moment, every addiction — drugs, smoking, alcohol, anger, fornication… all left me completely. There were no cravings at all.
It was total freedom.
Sadly, about a year later, I fell back into the world, and this time it was seven times worse. I began selling large amounts of drugs every week. Tens of thousands of pounds were passing through my hands. I drove around in a Mercedes, wore designer clothes and gold, lived in clubs and strip clubs, and indulged in everything money could buy. I was drinking daily, taking drugs and steroids, violent, angry, anxious, insecure, fearful, rebellious, and unrepentant. My life was completely out of control. I lived out of wedlock and had children with two different women. I got married and later divorced, eventually ending up homeless and living in hostels for three years.
Yet through all of that, Jesus never left me — even when I wasn’t thinking about Him at all. Eventually, I was given a home in Newbury while working in a construction gang travelling the country doing refurbishments. Life seemed amazing again: good wages, paid travel, accommodation, expenses. But I slipped back into old ways — drinking in the pub every day, chasing women, full of pride, believing money was the path to happiness. I entered a relationship that only fuelled this lifestyle further. She became an idol in my heart, and I lost everything again — my job, my home in Newbury, and the relationship itself.
Around April 2024, the darkest hours in my life I have ever known. Broken, empty, and hopeless, I cried out to Jesus. Immediately, He reached out to me. A vivid picture in my mind of myself sinking and His arm reaching down, clasping my hand, and pulling me up from drowning. I was like trapped in a situation. I was terribly anxious and didn’t know how to escape.
Jesus spoke to me more clearly than I had ever heard: “I have got a way.”
I knew that if I faced it in complete truth, God would part the sea and walk with me through it. And He did.
Once again, Jesus came to me supernaturally. Every oppression was gone instantly. Chains and shackles dropped off me. His presence was thick, warm and overwhelming. Collapsed to the floor, I sobbed in deep repentance. Jesus’ heart touched mine. I was forgiven, redeemed, and restored. The Holy Spirit came upon me so tangibly that it was like a lightning bolt piercing my chest.
For years I have pursued the worldly pleasures not realizing the real treasures are in heaven.
19 “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20 But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
(Matthew 6:19-21)
Jesus put me back on the right path. He led me to CIRDIC (Churches in Reading Drop In Centre) to serve the homeless. That led me to Mabel, and then to The Gate Church.
Looking back, I see that I was running from my calling my entire life — one God is now patiently revealing to me. In 2004, God had marked me and called me, even when I didn’t understand nor care about it.
Today, Jesus has restored my identity in Him. I feel His presence daily. I am filled with joy, peace, and love that the world could never give. I have godly friendships, a church family and a true community that I belong to.
Jesus has made me a better father, brother, uncle, friend, and person. I now walk by faith with excitement and anticipation, knowing Jesus is leading me into the calling He has prepared for my life.
I owe everything to the precious blood of Jesus shed at the cross. He saved me more times than I can count. All glory to God.
28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. 29 For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters.
Romans 8:28-29